Monday, January 21, 2013

The story of “Barfi” and “Gur”


It happened one fateful night, no day, ok let that be any time. I mean it had to happen one day or the other, as one was trying to sneak in to the ‘Kat’ bungalow and the other sneak out- this now infamous encounter happened in the Chameli Garden between 'Barfi' and 'Gur' (Molasses)

Gur: How dare you come here again? Do you have no fear of breaking your bones?

Barfi: Gur bhai, remember, that though you have more raw power but I too come from a great lineage, so back off.

Gur: Don’t you know I have fed this firangi cow with all my ‘Gur’ and now that it is time to  get ‘barabar’ and then you want to take away all the milk.

Barfi: Have you ever heard about a 'Gwala' getting the milk?

Gur: I’m not only the ‘Gwala’ but also the ‘Rakhwala’. The whole flock calls me ‘bhai’ of course I find it very odd when some birds pick up their clothes from my vanity van and before going out say – “When can we meet again, bhai’? Ok- forget that, it’s besides the point- Beta Barfi- you get out of this angle and better behave yourself.

Barfi: Bhai…..err…….Sir, I know you are strong and sticky but there is no harm in sharing, you know I’m so lost after that K brand Coffee spilled on me.

Gur: Just back out from this one, I’ll give you printout….ok that will be too much. Being human- let us save the environment- I’ll give you the list in a USB.

Barfi: (Suddenly goes mute) and starts telling in sign language that he can’t, takes out his heart and places in front of Gur

Gur: I have to put the fear of God into this cutely cut rhombus- starts pumping his muscles. Don’t you know how much is  my market demand- I sell by tones and my turnover is hundred crores every year.

Barfi: Yes, I know- the whole cattle world needs you and even the flies stick to you so lecherously. 

Gur: (For the first time, slackens, looks despondent and starts melting)

Barfi:On second thoughts, I’ll be generous Sir…err…bhai. Mom will be proud. You keep this Kat, I’ll take the black lady.


(Disclaimer: All ‘Gur’ fans, no intention of hurting you, when it comes to basic instincts- ‘Gur’ works fine but if it is your wedding- ‘Barfi’ has to be served.)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Rahul, Rahul.....Yes Mama


Had Rahul Gandhi even managed to dent marginally the position of opposition, it was easy to accept his ascendancy. What is the messsage?

  • that there is no talent left in Congress to take over key roles
  • that lineage matters and dynasty prevails
  •  that the whole party thrives on Sycophancy considering that each member was trying to outdo the other in licking up to Madamji 
Rahul, Rahul….
Yes Mama
Will you get UP for me…
No Mama
Will you get Modi for me...
No Mama
Will you be my VP...
Ha..Ha..Ha

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Great Common Wealth Siphon

Shame and anger are two prominent feelings when I see or hear anything related to the Common Wealth Games. What a farce? The details and magnitude of the ‘Great Common Wealth Siphon’ is all over the media and there is no point in listing the murky details. Rather, what I’m worried about is that as a nation we have institutionalized corruption like nobody’s business. The family run government has its own contribution to this entire thing not that others are any good, but the systematic loot that has happened over the decades means that change of government only means that somebody else gets to suck your blood (an almost unwritten agreement between the powers that be). I’m very angry and so should be the common man. When somebody doesn’t deliver on the agreed goods and services we do have the option of ‘Stop Payment’.

As a commoner I want to ‘Stop Payment’; stop payment of all my taxes- direct, indirect in whatever form till I get what is promised by the appointed government….nah nah.. that I guess is asking for too much, but for a change can I ask them to take out the syringe from my already anemic body, there is no more blood that I can let go. For God’s sake stop the ****ing loot.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Swatting flies

Twinkie was in jail
but she got out on a bail
all around there was hue and cry
that she had played with Akki's fly

The law of the land can swallow
all the sins on the sly
but it just can't allow
display of a rogue bollywood fly.